Everyday (2022)

MAR

APR

JUL

AUG

OCT

NOV

DEC

SEP

On my right are the faders for the lights

Constantly changing the subtle shifts

Responding to the action on stage

Always thinking about the seasons

Where the sun will be in the sky

I’ve discovered that if I bring the blue lights down as I bring the moon light up, it really looks like it’s changed to night time

I’m just playing

Like they’re playing on stage

My new favourite bit is when Mole claps his hands to kill the fly as Rachael flops on the giant beach ball as Kevin slams a hatch shut as I press the space bar on my laptop causing the noise of the fly to abruptly stop

We are all completely in sync at this moment and it’s beautiful really

And then I thought about the funding applications I need to submit

And the deadlines for uni

And and and

And it’s really beautiful here

But I’m a bit anxious about driving the van

01/06/2022

Crewe to Arnhem

524 miles

843 Kilometers

 11 hours

80’s music

Mercedes’ Sprinter van

2 drivers

1 eurotunnel crossing

0 questions asked about what was in the back

1 stop Watford fap services, UK

1 stop somewhere just a cross the Belgian border

1 20 minute nap

 

I didn’t think I’d make it to Arnhem tonight but I’m so so so glad that I did

02/06/2022

Trip to gent and back

The relief of returning that van.

Running up that hill is my favourite song and it’s back in the charts./

Should I include the word cow in the title

How do I make the headphones work?

How do I go about this next week?

Why do I have to fill out these forms?

I think I will sleep on this train

Should I include the word clowns in the title?

Maybe that’s really confusing

03/06/2022

I’m standing in the queue for KFC once again

I feel guilt

I feel excited

I feel dirty

I feel quite empty today

Districted even

I don’t think it’s really about the chicken

It’s just doing something I’m not supposed to be doing

It feels wrong

I feel like if I don’t tell her soon then any incline of romance will die

Maybe it’s already dead

I didn’t miss her as much as I could have

Maybe it is like Tomas

We have an electric introduction

And then it fizzles out as we discover all the negatives of the other person

And I jump ship

But it feels like I have to captain this ship

Can’t believe I’m getting a kfc again

I shouldn’t call myself vegetarian any more, it’s embarrassing really

I’m embarrassing

04/06/2022

Join us for an open day like no other.

Audiences are invited to wonder from the hallways of ArtEZ’s Reitvield building to the rehearsal spaces of the ArtEZ Theatrium, pondering musings from a detached voice somewhere in the ether. Part walking tour, part performed rehearsal, Cows Clouds Chaos draws a link between clouds and thoughts; between those rolling bodies of mist and the fog that often irks our brains. It’s a celebration to the chaotic, ambivalent, brilliance of life.

‘Behind every cloud is another cloud’ – Judy Garland

This performance requires walking.

05/06/2022

I had sex last night with an attractive man

It was a surprise

I’ve been riding a wave off not feeling sexually attracted to men for some months now

But I felt a different vibe

And the spirit of spontaneity took hold,

An exited rush overcame me

I told him I didn’t really want sex but just to cuddle

It was more of a test than a statement

A test he passed

We knew we’d do more than just cuddle.

These are my favourite kind of one night stands

We didn’t meet in a club which is how I usually like to do it

But still he stayed over, right till morning

Our relationship the lifecycle of a mayfly

Born, lived and died within a few hours

But wrapped in the sheets with this stranger

Exposing everything to each other and knowing that it will so soon be over

This is the vulnerability I can now connect too

But I’m only vulnerable because I know it will all be over.

“It feels like we are in an Italian film’  He said

As the bright sunlight of morning blinded my curtain-less room

I told him how I often think that when the crane is operating outside,

Heavy objects float across the sky, framed by my windows in a poetic, mundane – extra-ordinary way

Puccini plays in my head

And we kiss, holding each other tight

Knowing that this could be the last time our bodies will meet

Making sure e caress the parts that make us feel something

Touching each other one last time before

And then he goes

I watch him walk along the road from my window

He has a curiosity in the bounce of his walk that I like

I hope that we see each other again and that we never see each other again all in the same thought

What a perfect one night love affair

06/06/2022