Everyday (2022)
MAR
APR
JUL
AUG
OCT
NOV
DEC
SEP
On my right are the faders for the lights
Constantly changing the subtle shifts
Responding to the action on stage
Always thinking about the seasons
Where the sun will be in the sky
I’ve discovered that if I bring the blue lights down as I bring the moon light up, it really looks like it’s changed to night time
I’m just playing
Like they’re playing on stage
My new favourite bit is when Mole claps his hands to kill the fly as Rachael flops on the giant beach ball as Kevin slams a hatch shut as I press the space bar on my laptop causing the noise of the fly to abruptly stop
We are all completely in sync at this moment and it’s beautiful really
And then I thought about the funding applications I need to submit
And the deadlines for uni
And and and
And it’s really beautiful here
But I’m a bit anxious about driving the van
01/06/2022
Crewe to Arnhem
524 miles
843 Kilometers
11 hours
80’s music
Mercedes’ Sprinter van
2 drivers
1 eurotunnel crossing
0 questions asked about what was in the back
1 stop Watford fap services, UK
1 stop somewhere just a cross the Belgian border
1 20 minute nap
I didn’t think I’d make it to Arnhem tonight but I’m so so so glad that I did
02/06/2022
Trip to gent and back
The relief of returning that van.
Running up that hill is my favourite song and it’s back in the charts./
Should I include the word cow in the title
How do I make the headphones work?
How do I go about this next week?
Why do I have to fill out these forms?
I think I will sleep on this train
Should I include the word clowns in the title?
Maybe that’s really confusing
03/06/2022
I’m standing in the queue for KFC once again
I feel guilt
I feel excited
I feel dirty
I feel quite empty today
Districted even
I don’t think it’s really about the chicken
It’s just doing something I’m not supposed to be doing
It feels wrong
I feel like if I don’t tell her soon then any incline of romance will die
Maybe it’s already dead
I didn’t miss her as much as I could have
Maybe it is like Tomas
We have an electric introduction
And then it fizzles out as we discover all the negatives of the other person
And I jump ship
But it feels like I have to captain this ship
Can’t believe I’m getting a kfc again
I shouldn’t call myself vegetarian any more, it’s embarrassing really
I’m embarrassing
04/06/2022
Join us for an open day like no other.
Audiences are invited to wonder from the hallways of ArtEZ’s Reitvield building to the rehearsal spaces of the ArtEZ Theatrium, pondering musings from a detached voice somewhere in the ether. Part walking tour, part performed rehearsal, Cows Clouds Chaos draws a link between clouds and thoughts; between those rolling bodies of mist and the fog that often irks our brains. It’s a celebration to the chaotic, ambivalent, brilliance of life.
‘Behind every cloud is another cloud’ – Judy Garland
This performance requires walking.
05/06/2022
I had sex last night with an attractive man
It was a surprise
I’ve been riding a wave off not feeling sexually attracted to men for some months now
But I felt a different vibe
And the spirit of spontaneity took hold,
An exited rush overcame me
I told him I didn’t really want sex but just to cuddle
It was more of a test than a statement
A test he passed
We knew we’d do more than just cuddle.
These are my favourite kind of one night stands
We didn’t meet in a club which is how I usually like to do it
But still he stayed over, right till morning
Our relationship the lifecycle of a mayfly
Born, lived and died within a few hours
But wrapped in the sheets with this stranger
Exposing everything to each other and knowing that it will so soon be over
This is the vulnerability I can now connect too
But I’m only vulnerable because I know it will all be over.
“It feels like we are in an Italian film’ He said
As the bright sunlight of morning blinded my curtain-less room
I told him how I often think that when the crane is operating outside,
Heavy objects float across the sky, framed by my windows in a poetic, mundane – extra-ordinary way
Puccini plays in my head
And we kiss, holding each other tight
Knowing that this could be the last time our bodies will meet
Making sure e caress the parts that make us feel something
Touching each other one last time before
And then he goes
I watch him walk along the road from my window
He has a curiosity in the bounce of his walk that I like
I hope that we see each other again and that we never see each other again all in the same thought
What a perfect one night love affair